Fashion Faux Pas Series – Part Deux! Your Fashion Stimulus Kit

31 Jul

So as promised, today we will continue our fashion faux pas (fashion no no) series and for today we have clothing and accessories on the chopping block. As mentioned last week, this is a guide so not to be caught red handed by the fashion police…because they’re out there and they’re not taking any prisoners! For you late tuners, please check out the first part to this series on hair and shoes.
Jumping right to it: Your clothing say a lot about who you are so please don’t give the wrong impression.

Clothing & AccessoriesDress without the Stress!

  • The belt has always been a great accessory…even magical sometimes; it can transform a plain sack dress into a splendor of curves and portions. WARNING: The same way a belt can be your best fashion pal, it can also stab your style in the back! Some outfits have no business having belts. The power belt, abortion belt, call it what you may, can do wonders for an outfit and at the same time can get the fashion public wondering what went wrong. USE THE BELT WISELY: IT CAN EITHER MAKE YOU OR BREAK YOU!
  • SHOULDER PADS….come on…need I say more!!!!
  • FACT– The female body is a work of art! FACT – However, there are different body shapes and size. FICTIONONE SIZE FITS ALL. Don’t be a victim to that nonsense!
  • The ‘bowtie’ is the new ‘it’ thing on the fashion runway this year. The bowtie brings more edginess and appeal to ones style, however, too much of everything is always bad…PLEASE WEAR THE BOWTIE…DON’T LET THE BOWTIE WEAR U! (however its fine if you’re looking to get a job at Walt Disney as Mickey or Minnie Mouse)
  • Whoever heard of “golver” or ‘silgo”accessories? Sounds stupid? Well, looks even more stupid when you mix gold and silver accessories. Please stick to one….GOLD OR SILVER…BOTH JUST BEGS ATTENTION!
  • Tight clothes wearing gives new meaning to “Muffin top”. New to the concept…let me explain…what happens to the top of your body when you squeeze into a tight pair of jeans, two sizes smaller? Yup, I can see all those guilty smiles already…your love handles become more visible and you resemble a muffin – hence the name MUFFIN TOP! Not cute…at all!
  • Again, another debatable point…COUPLES DRESSING ALIKE. Some may argue that it’s cute to some extent, however the extreme is always sickening!!!!
  • Okay fellas, real talk…what’s up with the SHORT TIES? Are these fashion statements or choking devices…go figure!!!!
  • Just because you have all the necessary garments in one color does not mean you should wear them all at the same time! Yup…it’s called MATCHING TO THE ‘T’. A little over the top, don’t you think!
  • Ladies, you are so wrong for this…a smashing ensemble: outfit, hair, shoes…, then cell phone in right hand, lipstick in the left, card and other makeup in pocket…where in goodness sake is your purse?!!! A real lady does not walk out of the house without a purse, bag, or some kind of carrying device other than her hands!!! PLEASE SEE THE BAG LADY!!!
  • The fun thing about leggings/ tights is that it’s so versatile…it can be casual or spruced up and dressy, it all depends on how it’s worn and with what. A toned lower body in tights with a short top may not necessarily look bad; however, my voluptuous sisters with a lot of junk in the trunk…please stay away from this look…its not flattering…AT ALL! TIGHTS ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT!!
  • I believe there is an art in wearing short skirts and dresses with class, however, in order to do so one must have the body for it as well as the confidence. Trust me, the latter is key! Wearing a mini with lack of confidence and discomfort is like a timid porn star…WHAT!!! (My thoughts exactly.) If you are uncomfortable, you best believe observers will be uncomfortable for you.
  • Does the term ‘LESS IS MORE’ mean anything to you? Well it should now – knowing when to wear minimal or no jewelry is a lesson for Fashion 101.
  • Following fashion blindly is the reason why we are here today people. EVERY FASHION IS NOT FOR EVERYONE. Leather jackets and knee-high boots in hot climates is not a good look, not only that…it’s also a health hazard!!!
  • For some of us, the term ‘sunglasses’ means absolutely nothing!!! Just glasses or timeglasses would be more appropriate when we insist on WEARING SUNGLASSES IN A ‘NIGHT’ CLUB. Another case of following fashion blindly…Diddy does it so why can’t I? Well, come see me when you become rich and famous…but for now, lets leave the sunglasses for the daytime, please!!!
  • So when did it become okay for our fellas to wear t-shirts that could double as both a dress for them and sheets for the bed? Yup…I am referring to those ‘EXTRA, EXTRA LARGE WHITE TEES. (We keep coming back to the size issue…come on lets wear our regular sizes).
  • Thank goodness for the skinny jeans…however not all fashion is for everyone…you be the judge…if you totally vanish when you wear them or start a wrestling match with them when trying to get in them…what’s more to say, THE SKINNY IS NOT FOR YOU.Looks like I beat that topic to death, however if you think I missed a key fashion faux pas…please do share. The major take away here, if nothing at all, is make sure you rock your clothes with confidence. Fashion does not always have to be plain and safe…its alright to add your own twist to it…just remember do so with caution. Remember my definition of fashion: it’s a recipe of ever changing themes, colors and patterns with hints of ancient flavor and a dash of uniqueness. Today’s fashion is an elaborated yesterday’s fashion laced with personality and style.And with that I’m out. Stay tuned next time as we look at some fashion mistakes with makeup, underwear and personal hygiene. Like I always say: remember to stimulate your trends with your weekly Fashion Stimulus Kit!!!!
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